Some Koreans Give Their Teachers the Whole Apple Tree
By KELLY CROW


YEARS ago, when the oldest of John Park's five children was still in grade school, he and his wife agonized over a decision of respect. The school year was nearing an end, and they wanted to give a thank-you gift to their oldest child's teacher.

His wife suggested buying the teacher a $50 pen. Mr. Park, who owns a clothing store in Jackson Heights, Queens, sensed it was too expensive a gift, but he also worried about spending too little. "Find the average amount," he said, "and let's give that."

Advertisement


"But what's the average?'' she asked. In Korea, the Parks knew the cultural rules for gift-giving with regard to teachers, where a generous present means greater respect for, and closer access to, the receiver. In Korea, students are taught to esteem teachers as second parents. Custom even dictates that people walk around a teacher's shadow.

But here in America, where the iconic teacher gift is an apple, the Parks felt unsteady navigating even this small corner of a new culture. And among many Korean immigrants, they are hardly alone.

Christine Yoon-hee Colligan, a jewelry designer from Whitestone, Queens, who emigrated from Seoul 20 years ago, often gets phone calls from fellow Korean immigrants who are unsure of what, and how much, to give. Ms. Colligan, who is also president of the New York Korean-American Parents Association, gets just as many calls from American teachers on the receiving end of the presents. Most express concerns about the intentions possibly buried in excessive gifts. Typical examples she has heard of include $100 in cash, $50 gift certificates, high-end scarves and jewelry.

"Teachers call me a lot at this time of year and say, 'What is this about the big gifts?' '' she said. "I have to educate them that it actually comes only from a place of gratitude, not bribery."

Certainly, the situation seems dubious when a student gives a teacher a present after receiving a failing grade. But Ms. Colligan and other Korean school leaders say that typically the generosity, which has been described in the local Korean press, stems from insecurity as much as thankfulness.

Sanghee Kim, a nurse from Bayside, Queens, pointed out that Korean parents who work long hours, as many do, cannot personally supervise their children's homework. As a result, most come to view teachers as adopted caretakers. If their children are struggling with schoolwork, some parents think the solution is to garner more attention for the child in class by sending the teacher a memorable gift.

But such actions are increasingly discouraged within the Korean community for fear of embarrassing other parents and teachers. The parent-teacher group at P.S. 203 in Bayside, the school that Ms. Kim's daughter attends, has begun to circumvent big gifts by having parents donate modest amounts, such as $5 or $10, that can pooled into buying one class gift. Officially, the rules are already clear, said Margie Feinberg, a spokeswoman for the city's Department of Education. Gifts of less than $20 are fine when given on holidays and at the end of the school year, but, according to the chancellor's regulations on gifts, "discretion must be used to ensure that officers and employees do not accept gifts of value from individual children, parents, or guardians."

Lance Wilson Jr., a counselor at P.S. 209 in Whitestone, said teachers often get elaborate gifts from his school's Korean parents, but the $50 flower bouquets and fruit baskets usually find their way to a common area, like the principal's office. "Some teachers don't want to attract too much attention by carrying out a big gift," he said. "It's appreciated, but it can also be embarrassing."

Other teachers say they never mind getting tokens of thanks, regardless of the price tag.

"I think it's beautiful what the Koreans do," said Evangelina Rivera, a dance specialist at schools in Sunnyside and Jackson Heights, where a third of her students are Korean. Her typical presents are flower pots and figurines.

"I think American families tend to forget that we teachers give to the last drop every day, all day," Ms. Rivera said. "Koreans, for whatever reason, remember, and that's great. I never mind being on the receiving end."

As for the Parks, they eventually learned to give gifts that they felt were appropriate: "We like to give leather gloves at Christmas, and small brooches" for the end of the school year, Mr. Park said.