친한 친구가 보내준 메일 입니다.

Esteemed pound puppies:

    I thought that I had made it abundantly clear that we are not to have a
first strike policy against Iraq.  To do so is idiocy.  Allow me to
elaborate through a non-Aesopian fable.  There were two children who lived
at opposite ends of the same street.  One of these children, Walker (short
for G. Walker Bush), was endowed by his parents with all of the shiny toys
imaginable.  His father, Dana Carvey, had a long history with the strange
boy who lived at the other end of the street.  Once, Dana walked over to the
other boy's house and shot bottle rockets and over incendiaries into the
boy's house.  This child, known to us as Haddam (short for Haddam Sussein),
had broken into his neighbor's back yard with a dart gun and claimed it for
himself.  It was for this reason that Walker's father had blown up so many
firecrackers like feathers on a bird.  Haddam ran back into his house, where
he cried and proceeded to exterminate the Kurds.  Then one day, Walker awoke
and discovered that he was in charge of the house.  After spending billions
of dollars to beat up some punk kids from the poppy fields of Afghanistan,
Walker remembered what his father told him:"Son, are you gonna let that mean
kid with the moustache slight me and our way of life?!  Wouldn't be
prudent."  Walker, after signing a bill easing emmisions standards for heavy
industry, mounted his tricycle and set forth to the basketball court.  There
he found children of all sorts of ethnicities milling about, chatting in
small groups, napping in the sun and waging holy wars.  Walker jumped into
the midst of them and announced his intention of beating up Haddam.  One in
the crowd murmured "Is he talking about that kid with the moustache?", and
chatter could be heard throughout.  Chan, a fat Chinese boy who liked to
abuse women, and Dmitri, a dirty Russian, confronted Walker at once.  They
protested, "But we have vested interests that we wish to protect!"  After
carefully considering their rebuttal, Walker unzipped his pants and cried "I
urinate upon you and the house of your forefathers!", at which time he
proceeded to relieve himself.  Walker raced back home and loaded his
SuperSoaker in preparation of the impending battle.  Once this was done,
Walker remembered another point of advice which his father had told
him:"Son, if you ever feel as if you have to make a difficult decision, talk
to someone else and see what they have to say.  To fail in doing this would
not be prudent."  Walker looked around, but only his female dog, named The
American People, could be found.  He sat down and explained why he had to
employ his SuperSoaker with extreme prejudice against the kid at the end of
the street.  His little dog wimpered and curled itself tightly, but this
sight angered Walker all the more severely.  "Silence, you spawn of
weaklings!" he cried, and at that he struck the cowering dog, grabbed his
weaponry and mounted his tricycle.  Once he receives Senate approval, he'll
open the garage and race down the block.  If he's lucky, Haddam won't have
any biological weapons waiting for him.  The moral: Walker should not have a
first strike policy.



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